Left out

It happens.

I try to understand that it happens.

I tell myself that I would rather have a person tell me that they are not ready for the responsibility of watching my daughter during a sleepover party, or on a trip to the beach. I tell myself that if they are not able to deal with my daughter having Type 1 diabetes, then I do not want them to be in charge of her care in a situation when I might be out of contact for even a few minutes.

But it hurts.

It hurts me to even ask them.

And even though I understand it, it upsets me that some people are unwilling to take the risk.

She has not been hospitalized, lost consciousness, or flipped out since she was diagnosed. She knows to call me when her bg hits certain levels, just so that I can be part of her action plan for the day. And realistically, she can handle it all herself for a few hours. Odds are, nothing will go wrong.

But you never know.

If she loses consciousness, if she grows unreasonably angry, and the person in charge doesn't know what to do, it's a problem.

M's bg levels had been crazy. All over the place crazy. 595! 33! 578! 41! It didn't stop for days!

And when we finally had two days of it more or less under control, M was to go to a friend's house overnight and then join the family at Anime Boston to honor her friend's birthday.

The plans had been in place for weeks.

M was the only person that her friend invited.

Everyone wanted M to be able to go: M, her friend, me, the friend's mother.

This friend's mother is fantastic. She has traditionally been unafraid to take M for days at a time. But this was unusual. M's bg has only been back under control for a day or two.

I knew I had to make the call, and I hated it.

I explained the situation to the mom. She listened carefully, and asked several good questions.

I told her how much I hated asking her to take M under these circumstances, but I thought it was only fair that she fully understand what she was getting into.

After a few more questions, the mom stated that she would take M. She asked for contact numbers for the entire time she had M, as well as permission to treat letter in case of an emergency. Then she told me that the girls would refrain from the birthday cupcakes that she had planned to share.

I started to protest that M shouldn't be any more of a burden to her than necessary. She said, "No. It is not all right for my daughters to pig out in front of M when she can't enjoy it. We will save the cupcakes for later."

I have a friend who once told me that I can juggle a million things, and I am always in control: until my kids are sick. It unnerves me.

So, at this point I snapped: not in a bad way, but I could feel tears of relief stinging my eyes. My voice was trembling as I thanked her for her kindness, and told her how much I appreciated that she was willing to accommodate my daughter.

And I really did.

Anime peeps. Long story short, a good time was had by all.